- I went shopping the other week with a couple of friends. Actually, we were on a “junk” hunt, hitting as many consignment stores as we had the time for.
We did make a stop at Home Goods, which is a favorite of all of us. Regardless that the stuff they sell is new, you never know what you might find in there. I am always on the lookout for garden stuff this time of year, and have developed a special interest in mermaids and seahorses, but I was not prepared for HER. As I was walking down the aisle, there she was, on display – a four foot plus concrete mermaid. She reclined across the display gazing off into the distance, her perky concrete breasts pointed skyward, her arm around a smiling concrete dolphin. I stopped short. She was beautiful, and just the sort of thing I would love to bring home to my garden. I assumed that something that big and beautiful must be exorbitantly expensive, but still I had to know. Her price tag was barely visible, but not accessible without 1) moving her or 2) climbing over/on her to read the tag. I tried # 1 to no avail. She would not budge – not even a little. This should have been a sign for me to just walk away, but still, I had to know.
I summoned my two friends, and the 3 of us donning our old
lady reading glasses tried several positions, clamoring over and straddling the mermaid in an attempt to read the price tag. Finally one of my friends got in a position to read the tag. She read it, re-read it, and announced the price. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The price was VERY reasonable, and definitely something I could afford. My next thought was I wished I didn’t know this information. The three of us stood there discussing how we would move her out of the store, and into the back of the car. I am not sure what we were thinking, as the three of us combined couldn’t even budge her enough to read the price ticket, but I guess love is blind. Especially cheap love. As we were having our discussion, one of the clerks who had overheard us came over to put the pin in our balloon. “Good luck if you’re planning to move that thing” she said. “I saw them bringing her in here, and it took quite a few burly men quite a while to put her there”
“Not to mention that she would probably ruin your suspension
and flatten your tires”. Well, there it was. No wonder she
was so cheap! We checked out of Home Goods and moved on mermaidless.
- The very next day
while up in Maine I spied a happy concrete cherub riding a concrete seahorse.
Only 200 pounds and just the right size to be buckled into the back seat of the car. The statue looks great in my garden!
thissideofoz 